A Soulmate Love Story: Tamara & Trevor
Tamara Hanson is an author, mother, yoga lover, and deliberate creator. When she isn’t hanging with her kids, she’s usually loitering at a local tea house sipping chai latte and writing. Visit her website at www.tamarahanson.ca.
Trevor and I knew each other since 1975 when we first met at elementary school and then attended high school together.
However, it wasn’t until 2010 that we really got to know each other when we reconnected on Facebook. At the time, he was living in a different city, so most of our socializing was done online. In 2011, Trevor had asked me to partner with him in administrating a positivity Facebook page. Out of all of the people he had thought about partnering with, I was the only one who stuck out for him.
As the positivity page grew, we grew together; and, it wasn’t long before I realized that he was my best friend, the person that I could turn to, talk to, open up to, and feel absolutely comfortable with. When he had something exciting or interesting to share, I would be the first one he would talk to. If I needed to vent, he was the one I would go to first.
From that point, it didn’t take us long to realize that we had deeper feelings for one another. There was an undeniable connection; an energy between the two of us that we both had never felt before. And, once those feelings were out in the open, and we were no longer hiding behind our computers, everything started to fall into place.
You have to understand, I have had no desire to get married. I never wanted to get married to the father of my children, and we were together for 13 years. I’m also not much of a risk taker; I like to mull things over and over before making a decision.
But, when Trevor proposed to me one month after we expressed our love for each other, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with him. It was the next logical step for us.
Our relationship was virtually effortless. We were friends, lovers, and partners. We supported each other in every aspect of our lives. We loved each other fully. There were no questions; there was no wondering, or doubting. We could sense each other’s energies; we knew what the other was feeling and thinking. We knew when the other one was having a rotten day even before verbally communicating it. We were in complete synch with each other, and neither of us had experienced anything like it before. The connection was amazing on every level!
That’s not to say we didn’t have disagreements; we are human. But, the communication was always there and disagreements dissolved as quickly as they came.
Together, we believed that we could inspire the world. We would talk often about what we could do to help others see their worthiness. We had come up with book and website ideas that would motivate and enlighten people to come to full realization of who they are. We were a perfect balance.
We were planning our wedding and honeymoon on the Island of Capri because that is where we realized we spent a past life together. We knew we had to experience the island again. Unfortunately, that day never came.
On February 14, 2012, my love transitioned to the non-physical. Really bad timing on his part! I had felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, and, for months, I wondered if I would ever be happy again. But, as my incredible sadness began to lift, I began to see the perfection of it. I may have lost my love in a physical sense, but, at an infinite level, our love is forever.
Many people have asked me how I was able to cope and how did I make it through the first year. The first thing was family and friends. I was surrounded by so many loving people—I cannot express enough gratitude for how wonderful everyone has been! The other thing that has carried me through is my belief system. Trevor had said to me that we would always be together, even in death. I believe that he is still with me. I can feel him and I know that he is here whenever I need him. Driving to work, I will suddenly feel his love surround me. Or, at yoga where I have heard him say, “Thank you for loving me.” On one occasion, I asked him to show me a sign that he was with me and loves me; the moment I turned a corner, a very dirty truck was in front of me with the words printed clearly in the mud, “I love you forever.”
At times, I feel robbed of not being able to grow old together—we had so many plans. But, I now see that he had a purpose in my life, as I did in his. I believe he showed me what it’s like to be truly loved and respected. He showed me that I should never settle; that my partner should not only be a lover, but a friend, a cheerleader, and a support network. Knowing what I know now, I would do it all over again with him in a heartbeat. He had brought out my happiness, creativity, and passion—things that had been dormant for a very long time.
Here is the thing: nothing is coincidence, the Universe is always working perfectly, and it can plan our lives better than we can.
I constantly see people struggling in their relationships… and I used to be one of them. Not moving forward, frustration, anger, resentment, hurt, confusion. Neither one getting what they want from the other. I know what it’s like to be in a relationship and unhappy and you’ve tried to make it work. I would never go back to that.
I have been in situations where I’ve held out hope that the other person just might realize how great we are together. I was so wrong. When Trevor came along, everything was so easy and natural. Trevor had said to me one time that our relationship makes all of our past relationships look like practice.
I would hope that my story would help people to not accept a mediocre relationship. Realize that you are worthy and deserving of an amazing love! Everyone deserves a relationship based on love, respect, kindness, passion, support, partnership, and friendship. You are giving that person your heart; if they cannot give your heart the TLC it needs, they do not deserve to be in your life.
Also, get to really know yourself. Love yourself first and foremost, and become your own best friend. When you are able to do this, you can easily give your love to another.
When you do find someone that meshes with you, you will feel how easily it can flow. It will be like two beautiful flowers swaying together in a soft summer’s breeze.
Trevor’s love for me has shown me what it means to be truly loved. Because of this gift, I am open to receiving my next soulmate. I know there is another one out there for me. I know Trevor wants me to be happy and I believe he will have a hand in bringing me someone worthy enough to be with me. Every single day I am grateful for what he has given me; I am a better woman for it.
Thank you for reading this inspiring interview! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships (in paperback, ebook, and audio), 52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love and Overcoming Jealousy