A Man with Soul: Gerard Martinez
My name is Gerard and I am the cofounder of LuvFax. We are the leading online dating background check company. With over 41 million singles looking for love online, we are dedicated to helping them date safely.
Tell us about a deep soul connection that you’ve experienced. In 2008, a relationship I was in ended. I began the healing process and was coming to a good place in my life. Through pain comes growth. Realizing my part in it, and coming to terms with another failed relationship, was an enlightenment in and of itself. I was working on me and growing, ready and willing to share my life with someone. The connection with my own soul was providing this direction.
Describe one of your most soul-opening moments. The power of forgiveness. Time is a great healer, 22 months passed and I began again, searching for a partner, my soul mate, through online dating. All the usual popular sites. It was an experience that provided me a better understanding of the opposite sex. Time and again I came home from my coffee date (they are the safest and easiest, I found) knowing the date I just had wasn’t really quite the one. I marched on.
Shortly after, I had this moment: My soul was telling me to reach out and look up a woman whom I was once engaged to in 1986. Our breakup was not good. Are they ever? Now mind you, I had this inextricable feeling that I had to do this. I was not suffering from the “phantom ex syndrome”; I want to be clear on that. So I tried looking her up on Facebook and found her. She was a single parent like myself. Now I had to have the nerve to “friend” her. Twenty-four years had passed with no contact whatsoever. I was engulfed with so much emotion.
Seeing her face for the first time after so long brought me right back to her. Love remains the same. She resides in Florida and I am in California. The last 4 years have had its challenges, not including the distance. I am still very much in love with her, albeit unrequited. Our relationship has left an indelible mark on me that will forever be there. This moment has been the most soul-opening of my life.
When and with whom do you feel your most soulful? I feel most soulful when I am writing. Like right now. Putting “pen to paper” allows my mind to slow down, it allows me to reflect, it’s therapeutic, medicinal!
With whom do I feel most soulful? As a single parent of a wonderful, beautiful, soulful 16-year-old daughter. Moments of time spent with her, listening to her share her dreams with me. The life challenges I know she will encounter on her path. Mentoring her and parenting her. Trying always to be there for her.
Where have you felt the most in touch with your own soul? It happened at Community Memorial Hospital Ventura, California. The day my daughter was born. Becoming a father that day, I felt most in touch with my soul. To me that feeling is indescribable, considering the magnitude of the moment. The responsibility that is put on me. I consider being a father an honor.
Who is one of the most soulful people you’ve ever known? My Grandfather. He was a mindful man. Intelligent, hardworking honest. He was born in 1899 and passed away at the age of 97. He had so many wonderful stories about his life on this earth. He graduated from the University of Colorado in 1922. I was one of many of his grandchildren, yet he always seemed to have the time to talk and share his wisdom and life experiences with me.
What qualities do you feel a soulful relationship has? There has to be no limits on me to allow my soul to just be. Being my authentic self first and foremost. Love with no conditions empowers the relationship to grow and evolve. This can be achieved through learning to not let everything bother me. Neither one is perfect, but are we perfect for each other? Do we bring out the best of each other? Do we compliment and compromise with each other? Or, are we competing, controlling and comparing? Grow together, not apart from each other, allowing each other space to also grow as individuals without feeling insecure. Trust, communication, intimacy. Have her trust me by being trustworthy. Communicate, to the very best of my ability, and be a good listener. Emotional intimacy as defined, an event that occurs when the trust level and communication between two people is such that it fosters the mutual sharing of each others innermost selves. It is unbridled mutual self-disclosure.
What do you feel your soul’s purpose is? My soul’s purpose is to continue to evolve. To continue to grow spiritually, and to pass along as best I can what has been given to me.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with us? The unbridled emotion of a true soulmate experience to me is one life’s real blessings. Having the re-connection I did was beyond anything I ever imagined. I have often said, “If only the whole world could feel what I feel.” That soulful, all-encompassing love could heal the world!
Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Gerard! ~Mali & Joe, authors of The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships, 52 Prescriptions for Happiness, and the upcoming book The Soulmate Lover, and creators of Mantras for Making Love